Our connection felt immediately intimate, as natural and necessary as water flowing toward dry land, nourishing and bringing life. But I’m not here to tell a love story; I’m here to share why something so beautiful had to end.

Something in me went off. I tried not to look at it. I tried to ignore it, layering more love and energy onto our relationship. But a persistent voice in me kept speaking, and as much as I turned down the volume, I could still hear it. It was scary. Well, it wasn’t, but I was, scared. Scared of what if I really start listening to that voice. That was the first time we broke up. I was scared of “who am I without him“, and that didn’t sit well in my gut. I couldn’t be with the man I loved because I was afraid of who I was (or was not) without him. So I’ve started my journey inward, back to myself. It felt great at times, and horrible others. The sense of guilt and shame; the self-judgment and self-doubts; the void inside; the fear; the pain.

Yet in all that mud, between pages and pages of stream-of-consciousness, trying to release everything through writing, dancing, and screaming out the hurt; a seed sprouted, rooted in the darkest place I’ve ever been within myself. Slowly, that tiny seed of truth revealed long-hidden parts of myself, shaped by core conditioning that had influenced me since childhood. With each discovery, I felt a mixture of astonishment and raw vulnerability. It blew me away!

One year like this went down. I traveled, sought out transformative retreats, and invested in workshops that became invaluable steps on my journey. But more than anything else, I surrendered to the force that was driving me. And that was the best part.

Even so, I could never fully let go of my love for him. I tried to, but I just couldn’t. So during that year I kept the connection alive. Eventually we met again. And it was wonderful and awful at the same time. To witness his darkest pain was humbling. To hold space for it was humbling. The love that was still there was humbling. We got closer and closer for few months, doing our best to fix what got broken, and still be truthful to our hearts. Ready to forgive and move forward, fully committed to love, transparency and growth more than ever, to a bond unchanged by time.

Then came a day when we looked into each other’s eyes, and both felt it: something was still off, like a very old friend that had been around way too long, and now just needed to go. We talked about it very openly. We spoke openly, acknowledging that inner voice each of us had heard, a quiet wisdom within that knew a shift was necessary. It was paving the path. Neither of us wanted to part ways; we didn’t want to break up again. We didn’t want to let go of each others. We still wanted to hold hands, hug, have fun, make love and share life. But something bigger than I was requiring our presence. It was asking us to trust the wisdom of our bodies, and let go of what we were holding on to.

So we did. We decided to say goodbye in the most tender, beautiful and romantic way we could. We came together, one more time, for one week; and for one week we celebrated each other; we celebrated our love and connection; and we let go of all the conditionings that forced our relationship into a box that wasn’t needed in the first place.

“The only way out, is the way in”, it is said. And it is true.

Although the fact that we were not alone in it; knowing that we felt thorn in the same way, but still committed to surrender; the fact that we were holding each other through the process of letting go; it made a whole difference.

Embracing our truth might lead to unexpected losses, but it opens us to richer, truer lives. As I share my journey, I encourage you to listen to your own inner wisdom, to trust the voice that speaks quietly within. Acting upon it, and letting go of what doesn’t feel aligned anymore, requires a lot of courage; but it’s definitely less hard when you’re not alone.

This is why I’m here.